More Than Just Progress: The Unseen Weight of Trying to Learn and Live at the Same Time

We often talk about the importance of “leveling up,” whether it’s earning a degree, finishing a training program, studying for a certification, or just trying to grow into the next version of yourself. We’re told it’ll all be worth it in the end. And that might be true.

But what’s often left out of that narrative is the cost along the way, the quiet, overwhelming stress of trying to improve your life while still managing everything else that life throws at you.

Learning Isn’t Just a Classroom Experience

Today, many people are learning online, through universities, community colleges, boot camps, certification programs, or personal development courses. On paper, it sounds flexible and convenient.

But behind the screen, it can feel deeply isolating.

No classroom energy. No face-to-face conversations. No easy way to ask a question or stay after class to clarify something. It’s just you, your laptop, and the pressure to figure it out alone.

For those who are also parents or caregivers, the challenges multiply. You're not just a student. You're a provider, a role model, a nurturer. You’re trying to write essays while preparing dinner. Watching lectures between diaper changes. Studying at 2 AM because that’s the only quiet time you get. And through it all, you're expected to perform, submit, and succeed.

It’s no wonder so many people feel like they're constantly falling short, even when they’re giving everything they have.

Burnout Doesn’t Ask for Your Status

Whether you're a full-time student, working a 9–5 while studying at night, managing a household, or simply trying to make a better life, burnout doesn’t care about your title or intentions. It shows up when you’re stretched too thin, unsupported, and told to “just manage.”

We’re told growth requires sacrifice. And that’s true. But somewhere along the way, we started sacrificing our peace, our connection, our mental health, and calling it ambition.

The Myth of “Push Through” Culture

There’s this lie that if you want it bad enough, you’ll just grind harder. Sleep less. Smile through it. Stay positive.

But what happens when your child is sick, your partner needs you, or your family is depending on you, and you have a paper due?

What happens when you feel anxious and alone in your learning journey, and there’s no one to see you struggling?

You can’t grow properly in a space that gives you information but no human connection.

It’s Not Just About Time Management

Let’s be clear: people aren’t breaking down because they’re lazy or disorganized. Many are breaking down because they’re doing everything they can, working, caregiving, studying online, trying to stay afloat, and still feeling like they’re drowning.

This isn’t a motivation issue. It’s a mental load issue.

Sometimes you’re not stuck, you’re just unsupported.

What Can Help?

Here are some truths I share with my clients, students, parents, caregivers, and working professionals alike:

• Acknowledge your effort. You’re doing something hard. That deserves recognition, not perfection.

• Don’t let silence make you feel small. If a professor or mentor is slow to respond, it doesn’t mean your question wasn’t valid. Advocate for yourself anyway.

• Seek connection where you can. Join discussion boards, reach out to peers, or find online study/support groups. You’re not alone, even when it feels like it.

• Honor your bandwidth. Not every season allows for high performance, and that’s okay.

• Give yourself grace. You’re learning, growing, showing up, and carrying so much. That’s enough.

To the Ones Still Trying—You Matter

If you’re tired, overwhelmed, or feeling behind, you are not broken. You are not lazy. You are not failing. You are doing something incredibly hard, often alone, and still pushing forward.

Whether your goal is a degree, a license, a trade, a new job, or simply to improve yourself, don’t wait until you’ve “arrived” to take care of your mind.

You don’t need to earn rest, support, or encouragement. You need it right now.

So breathe. Take breaks. Speak up. And remember:

Your mental health matters during the journey, not just after the finish line.

With care and solidarity,

Alexya Sawyer

Certified Mental Health Coach | Advocate for Healing & Growth